Facing unanticipated opposition to their Alberta Clipper expansion plans, Enbridge has announced they will replace the tar sands oil in their pipeline with Canada’s strategic maple syrup reserve. Canadian authorities have given approval to the switch, but will carefully meter Enbridge’s syrup use as the strategic maple syrup reserve is a relatively significant wellspring of national pride.

Enbridge officials explain that the maple syrup is lighter, and less politically charged. A leading Enbridge representative remarks, “I feel so relieved that we have made this switch – I only worry that our maple syrup Christmas packages will now be replaced with fruit.”

 Happy April Fool’s Day!